Creative Writing

In December 2013, two classmates and I founded The Fourth Crown, an online satirical publication centered around the Gustavus Adolphus College community. In the publication’s first eight months, the publication has earned or developed:

  • A staff of 10 contributors, including a graphic designer, section editors, and columnists.
  • A Magnuson Award for Outstanding Leadership and Service, the college’s highest honor to bestow upon individuals or organizations.
  • 160 articles covering campus, regional, national, and global news.
  • 350,000 site views, 1,700 Facebook likes, and 850 Twitter followers.
  • A partnership with the campus newspaper to circulate a bimonthly printed publication.
  • A partnership with The Madison Misnomer from the University of Wisconsin to share articles with a broad reach.

A selection of the 60+ articles I have written as well as a view count on each article is compiled at the bottom of this page.

This fall, I was invited to speak at a symposium on the value and future of the liberal arts education as part of college President Rebecca Bergman’s inauguration. The event featured a panel of four alumni (two professors, the nation’s foremost swine veterinarian, and a fortune 500 CEO) in addition to myself. A transcript of my speech is available here.

Liquid Water Discovered on the Surface of Minnesota: link (162,000)
St. Olaf College Recognized as Worst College in Northfield, MN: link (30,000)
Confused Board of Trustees Irrevocably Repeals Indoor Smoking Ban: link (250)
First-Year Dissapointed in Eckman Mall’s Lack of Forever 21, Food Court: link (350)
Nobel Hall of Science Renovations Scheduled to be Completed in Time for them to be Obsolete: link (450)
Gustavus Greens Classified as “Gang (Pressing Threat)” by FBI: link (650)
24 Tips for Surviving Case Day: link (2,200)
THE MAN Reviews Gustavus Theatre’s Hair: link (350)
Misled Douchebag Confused at Keystone XL Protest: link (1,000)
A Letter to the Editor of The Gustavian Weekly: link (1,400)
College Abandons Nordic Ski Team; Pursues “Sexy, Tropical” Image: link (3,150)
Men’s Track Team Wins Relay for Life: link (300)
‘Doctor Who’ Fan Isn’t a Total Douche About It: link (300)
$23 Trillion Oil Industry Derailed by Balloons and Plastic Drums: link (1,300)
Excessive Stress Relief Programming Identified as Major Campus Stressor: link (350)
Gus’s Travels: Bethel University: link (1,700)
Gus’s Travels: St. Olaf College: link (2,400)
‘The Fourth Crown’ Wins Magnuson Award for Outstanding Leadership and Service: link (1,200)
The Lord Thy God Reviews Campus Timeflies Concert: link (600)
Lund Center Named UNESCO World Heritage Site: link (350)
Pretty Blonde Girls Crash Internet with Mass Upload of Pictures at Gustavus Sign: link (3,200)
Guide to Commencement 2014: link (620)
Governor Dayton Declares Flooded Minnesota Still Better than Regular Iowa: link (7,000)
Panicked Joe Biden Overheard Asking Parents for $40 Following SCOTUS Ruling: link (200)
Americans Can Finally Stop Pretending They Care About Soccer: link (300)
10 Differences Between ‘Minnesota Nice’ and ‘Passive Aggression:’ link (3,200)
ALS Ice Bucket Challenges Raises Public Awareness that the Letters ‘ALS’ Probably Mean Something: link (350)
Senior Slide Installed: link (850)